I can't do fucking anything.

Fucking.. Art block.

I feel like a talentless piece of crap.

And I'm feeling kind of blah, also.

I should have gone to school. Should have taken some stupid callege classes. I don't know a damned thing, but I know I've got no life path right now. I feel stuck and irritated.

And my headphones are being a bitch.

And hey, Fuck you, DA. I was typing. The backspace key DOESNT Mean I want to go back a page.

Asshat.

Ugh.



I just want to do something significant.

Fixated on:

Zombies
Johnny Rzeznik
The Goo Goo Dolls
Leon S. Kennedy
Vincent Law
Jahk (and he's my own character, wtf)
Asian hair styles
Lolita type Fashion
Top Hats
Boots

--

Reasonlessly afraid of:

Needles
Dolls (the porcelain ones. >> See above)
Burning
Drowning
Being kidnapped
Being raped
Being Stalked
Being hit on
Pain
Breaking a bone
Being stupid
Fishhooks
Being alone
Being forgotten
*shrug* Other shit

--

Conclusion:
I'm fucking tired. I should go to bed.

Fixated on:

Zombies
Johnny Rzeznik
The Goo Goo Dolls
Leon S. Kennedy
Vincent Law
Jahk (and he's my own character, wtf)
Asian hair styles
Lolita type Fashion
Top Hats
Boots

--

Reasonlessly afraid of:

Needles
Dolls (the porcelain ones. >> See above)
Burning
Drowning
Being kidnapped
Being raped
Being Stalked
Being hit on
Pain
Breaking a bone
Being stupid
Fishhooks
Being alone
Being forgotten
*shrug* Other shit

--

Conclusion:
I'm fucking tired. I should go to bed.

I went to have my hearing tested today.. And walked away from it feeling rather glum. It appears I have a rare sort of loss, and, to make a long rant short, I have 41.25% loss in my right ear, and 35.6% loss in my left.

And hearing aides are.. Expensive as all hell.

xx;

So it's a bad day.

If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling.
If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid. ...
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you’re fearless. Bwahaha.
People who don’t have any are liars. Duh.


i FEAR

the dark
staying single forever
being a parent
giving birth
being myself in front of others
open spaces
closed spaces
heights
dogs
birds
fish
spiders
flowers or other plants

Total so far: 4

being touched (how?)
fire
deep water (I can swim, but I'm afraid to drown)
snakes
silk
the ocean
failure
success
thunder/lightning
frogs/toads
my boyfriend's/girlfriend's dad

rats (Actually, almost all rodents, if I am holding them. I am afraid they'll bite me)
jumping from high places
snow

Total so far: 9

rain
wind
crossing hanging bridges
death
heaven
being robbed
falling
clowns
dolls
large crowds of people
men
women
having great responsibilities
doctors, including dentists
tornadoes

Total so far: 14

hurricanes
incurable diseases
sharks (if I was near them)
Friday the 13th
ghosts
poverty
Halloween
school
trains
odd numbers
even numbers
being alone
becoming blind
becoming deaf (because I think my hearing is getting worse)
growing up

Total so far: 20

creepy noises in the night
bee stings
not accomplishing my dreams/goals
needles
blood
dinosaurs
the welcome mat
high speed
throwing up
falling in love
super secrets

Final Total: 25